Turpin uses the rhetorical appeal ethos in validating her claims in this essay. She references several credible resources to establish her purpose. Furthermore, she uses concrete examples such as brothels set up near military bases, Yugoslavian women impregnated through rape by enemy soldiers, and Vietnamese women raped in front of passengers and crew on a fleeing vessel. These examples prove how demeaning and emotionally damaging war can be for women.
I do feel however that Turpin could have gone more into depth on some of the issues in her essay. The essay has several short paragraphs on the different issues being discussed. Turpin could have gone deeper on some of the issues, and merely glances on the surface on others. The main detriment to this article is much the same as “Aggression” by Sissela Bok in that it relies too much on percentages and large figures to do the talking. True story recollections from survivors are much more likely to generate empathy and response than slamming the reader with numbers they will not remember. I hate to keep citing “Pandemic: My Country Is on Its Knees” by Stephen Lewis, but his essay his time spent in Africa is one I will not soon forget. The personal anecdotes he uses to get his message across are eye opening and sobering to the plight of Africans.
Pain and suffering inflicted on women during wartime is a serious issue that is not often discussed in the media. It is much sexier for the news networks to talk about flat casualty numbers and how current war strategies are failing than to delve deeper into the human element, and I feel that is what Turpin has done here. I felt she could have delved much deeper into the subject but went with the numbers game instead.
I agree with you that she could have included more detail. But numbers are a good way to get a point across to the readers, especially since you don't want to over power your reader with a bunch of information, especially if Turpin had narrowed her essay down.
ReplyDeleteJust a question, what issues do you think that she could have gone deeper in?
ReplyDeleteI also agree with Jeena, the numbers are very good. If she had only used case examples and made the essay more emotional then people might think that the problem isn't that big. Using the whole picture makes it hit home for me.
Hi Ben,
ReplyDeleteI appreciated your analysis and your critique. Turpin offers an overview of the problem but she left me wondering about what is being done to help women of war. Not to keep on about Lewis's article (smile) but I did appreciate his inclusion of the organizations helping to fight AIDS. So I went on the web and found some great Youtube videos talking about an organization called Women For Women International. It is an organization helping women regain their dignity by providing them with a living: farms, small businesses etc.
In your entry you have some good paraphrases. You know where you mention the Vietnam women in the boat being raped? Paraphrased information, like quotes, must also have a citation at the end of the sentence. So now, I'm just nudging you in this direction. When you mention a specific example of Turpin's include a citation.
A final suggestion, why not include one or two quotes? Show me your skills in terms of integrating quotes into your work.
But again, I enjoyed this entry very much and thank you for all your hard work on these last two blogs. Your grade for this blog is in the grade book.
Sorry I missed a couple of things, and about bringing up Lewis' article again. I just felt that was such a strong article and I still recall his stories he told of life in Africa and how it has changed.
ReplyDeleteI don't know if you guys watch much tv but Mariska Hargitay from "Law and Order: Special Victims Unit" has a charity that takes victims of rape down to southern marinas to swim with dolphins to show them how beautiful life can be.
I will try to use the skills mentioned above in my next blog.
ReplyDelete